The Art of Parenting
When it comes to raising children, all parents can admit to one bittersweet truth – mistakes were made. Most parents qualify as good parents, but … nobody’s perfect. Alas, even good parents make mistakes they regret.
Older parents sometimes reflect back to their childrearing days, imagining “what ifs.” What if we had done this? What if we had tried that? But life is a journey in one direction – forward. There’s no magical time machine allowing us to go back and correct our mistakes.
God gives parents one shot. If we do a good job, our mistakes will be minor, leaving little or no trace of scar tissue. Thankfully, most parents and children survive the experience.
Years later, we marvel that we did. We look back with awe and wonder that everyone really did turn out OK.
For indeed, parenting is a job like no other. There are no application forms to fill out … no stressful job interviews to endure. You don’t need lofty academic credentials or any experience at parenting. It’s a frightfully difficult hands-on job learned by trial and error. Intelligence is helpful, but not a job requirement.
Until recently, you had to be young and virile, but modern day science has even eliminated those requirements, making it theoretically possible for children to have younger aunts and uncles. Add that to your list of crazy things in the world of science.
What will those mad scientists think of next? Clones? Perfect children without blemish? God help us – it’s diversity that makes the world interesting, not perfection.
Single colors are OK, but rainbows are beautiful.
Parenting is a tough gig, an unpaid position with horrible hours. The pressure and responsibilities are enormous. It was easy enough to create the little additions to your family. It’s far harder to contend with everything that flows from the decision to have children.
Parents are many things … love givers; nurturers; educators; soothing comforters; bankers and loan officers; gardeners of strength and courage; legislators; peace negotiators; disciplinarians; religious teachers; nurses; homework editors; entertainers; taxi drivers; employers; body huggers; time management experts; miracle workers; alarm clocks; dieticians; storytellers; and bathroom janitors.
That’s just a partial list. The list is as unlimited as the infinite complexities of each child. Job titles change as quickly as a child’s mood swings. Or when behavior changes from good to not-so-good.
We do our best in times of stress; yet most parents assume these positions of trust and responsibility at an age when they themselves are trying to find their way in life. Unfortunately, we don’t have children when we’re older with the advantage of hindsight, experience and wisdom.
Parenting is like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle downhill on an icy mountain slope. It’s an impossible task. Yet somehow … somehow, we manage.
The experience can raise us to inconceivable heights of euphoria; and bring us to our knees in frustration. An emotional carousel that never stops … a roller coaster careening off its tracks, testing our patience and limits of endurance.
Parents go from being young and carefree to having the jarring responsibility of raising a snot-nosed, mischievous little imp with a dirty butt. A kid who whines whenever he doesn’t get his way. Which is to say – constantly! As for that neat and orderly home? It’s been transformed into a toxic waste site. Who knew?
When parents contemplate having kids, they imagine adorable, miniature versions of themselves; however, children are as unique as snowflakes. If you have more than one, you’re astonished they came from the same gene pool – as different as peas from different pods in distant gardens.
Nobody said procreation would be logical.
There are thousands of books on parenting – but who has time to read them? When you’re having children, you’re also busy with a career, trying to get kids through college before you declare bankruptcy.
But down the proverbial family road, we take a deep breath and our perspective changes.
Our eyes may be weary, but we see things more clearly. Despite everything, we did OK. Our kids turned out OK. They survived and thrived, despite our mistakes and errors of judgment. We’re proud of our children’s accomplishments, and marvel that we had a genetic role in their successes.
Some of us are blessed to have grandchildren. When you look at those tiny, pink human beings, tears well up with the realization they wouldn’t be here without you. Without the years of “double, double, toil and trouble” … the heartbreaks and unsurpassed joys of parenthood.
Parents contribute to the continuum of life with a growing, extended family. We don’t get a diploma or certificate, but we’re richly blessed if we have a child who loves us back. And you know something? That’s all we ever wanted from the beginning – someone to love us back.
We know then it was all worthwhile.
Love needs no reward.
Note: Coming soon to a newspaper near you – Boulder McGraw turns one-year old! Stay tuned. Contact Michael at Rmykl@yahoo.com
